H A Z I N G
by Liquid-Goddess-Reformation
Summary: Ace had thought suddenly finding himself as part of the famous Captain Whitebeard's crew was a good turn of events, but after that, the problems just seemed to multiply. And to add to it, he'd been told there would be no math...
1. 000 Story Time

**H A Z I N G Trial by Fire**

**Series:** One Piece

**Main Characters:** Ace (obviously), and Whitebeard (also obvious), and a bunch of OCs.

**Rating: **T as of yet, mostly for cussing and pillaging and violence…you know, pirate stuff.

**Genre:** Humor and Action/Adventure, but really a little bit of everything.

**Summery:** Ace is picked up by Whitebeard's crew, but it'll take even more than a Fire Fist to earn his place in the elite crew. That is if he survives the hazing.

**General Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece or anything associated with One Piece. Anything here you recognize as from One Piece is therefore not mine, I'm not making money off it and I don't claim to have created it.

Note: I hardly know anything about Whitebeard, so most everyone one his crew is made up.

---

**H A Z I N G : Trial by Fire**

_By LGR_

_(Beta-reading done by Raptor the Predator, thank you Raptor!)_

_(**Under-Crewman Saga**: Vice Admiral Kaizer Arc)_

**--Log Entry Zero--**

_**Story Time**_

---

"Think he's dead?"

"He's not dead, he's breathing isn't he?"

"Well, maybe he's a zombie or something…"

"You idiot, zombies don't exist!"

"So…he's not a zombie?"

"He's sleeping you dumbass!"

Whitebeard crewman and Carpenter Saikoro "Pips" Matatabi proceeded to smack his fellow crewman, known only as Waku, upside the head. Zombies? What the hell was Waku thinking?

Besides, Zombies didn't breathe, an idiot knew that.

Saikoro turned back to his main problem: the freckled brunette kid in black cargo shorts and a ridiculous orange hat, sleeping face up on the deck of a stolen Navy Galleon. He looked maybe, seventeen, and was well muscled and fairly tall. Why he didn't have sunburn from not wearing a shirt was beyond him. How the hell had he managed to steal a Navy Galleon? And why the hell was it supposed to be Saikoro who had been ordered to vault onto the possible dangerous ship, and then figure out what to do with the guy? He was the Carpenter for Christ's sake!

He sighed and pulled off his spotted bandana, to run his fingers through his dirty blond hair as he chewed on a tooth pick, and then scratching his unshaved chin, trying to think what he should do with the guy. After a second of thinking, he settled on just telling the Captain about it and letting him decide. He'd been ordered to kill anyone on the ship, but maybe Whitebeard would change his mind. If this kid was capable of stealing a Galleon from under the Navy's nose, then he could be a valuable member for the crew. Hell, he needed a new apprentice.

"Waku, stop poking the dude," Saikoro said exasperatedly to his partner who had been repeatedly jabbing the kid in the shoulder to no affect except to cause the adolescent to let loose a loud snore, "If he hasn't woken up by now, he probably won't, so come on let's give the all clear and tow this guy over to Whitebeard."

---

Portgas D. Ace blinked his eyes open lazily to find himself, not on the stolen navy ship he'd apprehended (ah, he wanted to burst out laughing just _thinking_ about it) but on a completely different boat surrounded by a crew of menacing pirates. Hmm, did they qualify as menacing? Let's see: one was biting down on six knives and had more scars than an Eastern Blue Fighting Fish, another looked like one of his parent's had been some sort of bear for the size of his muscles, he spied a bunch of spidery looking guys hanging from the rigging...Oh, and they were all glaring threateningly. Yeah, they qualified as menacing.

Despite his current situation, he wasn't all together worried. Portgas D. Ace didn't get worried. Nothing really fazed him very much (except for maybe food, or lack there of. Heck he _was_ one of the D-brothers, after all; infamous in Fuchsia Village for being bottomless pits), and besides that, he had a trump card….

Yawning lazily, he pushed himself up, crossing his arms behind his head, and looking over the pirates without the least bit of outward care.

He blinked.

They growled.

The bare-chested boy let loose yet another yawn and then said, in typical D-brother fashion, "Hey guys, got any food?"

Half the crew face-faulted into the deck, and one blond bandana-wearing guy in baggy pants, a carpenter's belt and black shirt, left his mouth open, slack-jawed and the tooth pick he'd been sucking on fell from his mouth onto the ground. Perhaps the only one who remained unchanged was a young looking guy who was just glaring from his place leaning against the mast.

He smirked, pulling the lip down on his broad-rimmed orange hat. Yeah, that one always got 'em. Oh, how he loved giving shocked reactions. There was just something so great about them…

A loud chuckle rang from behind Ace and he kicked himself into a standing position, and turned around to see who thought he was so funny.

_Whoa, this guy must be taking his vitamins. _Sitting there in a huge chair was the biggest guy Ace had ever seen. He was an old man hooked up to a number of IVs surrounded by a team of female nurses in short pink dresses and flower print boots. He must not have been that sick, however, as evidence from the barrel of rum he held in his right hand. The guy was obviously the Pirate Captain and he had the most bizarre crescent shaped mustache. It looked like it could be removed and then tossed around like a pseudo-knife-boomerang, and Ace found himself staring at it. _I wonder if he ever cuts his lip on it…_

The giant man finished laughing, saying, "You've got spunk, kid!" he took a swig of his rum, "So, who might you be, Spunky, and what were you doing on a Navy Galleon?"

_Spunky? Hell NO am I gonna be called Spunky! That's nowhere near cool enough for me._

Stupid nickname, or not, Ace gazed lazily over the giant's shoulder feeling relieved, (not that he had been nervous. As stated before, Portgas D. Ace doesn't get worried or nervous), it was a load off his shoulders to know he wouldn't have to barbeque anyone…or hopefully wouldn't have to barbeque anyone…

He tried to decide whether to answer truthfully or to lie, but figured it wouldn't really matter either way, except that if they found out he was lying, his life might be in jeopardy, so maybe telling the truth was safer. And besides that, it kept him from having to think up something.

"Well, Captain…" Ace trailed off. _Crap, I don't know his name_.

"Whitebeard," one of the crew supplied. Ace raised an eyebrow but didn't otherwise make any comment toward the crewman. Whitebeard…it rang a few bells.

"Er, Captain Whitebeard, I'm Portgas D. Ace, and as to what I was doing on the ship: I was sleeping." Yup, the absolute truth.

Captain Whitebeard started cackling again, but a couple of the crewman got angry and started incoherently babbling stuff about not being a smartass or they'd have to hurt him. Quartered with the sabers they had pointed at his neck, it was quite a convincing display. Ace almost felt apprehensive; the key word there being _almost_.

"Sleepin'!" Whitebeard guffawed, "Ha, he was sleepin'! Funny kid, we knew you were sleepin' but how'd you wined up on a Navy Ship?"

"Oh, I stole it from them," he replied casually, nodding at his answer, and then straightening his hat.

"Really? And how might you have done that?"

Hmm, obviously they wanted him to elaborate; well it was a long story.

"Okay, take a seat guys this is going to take a bit," he said. Much to his surprise the crew got really excited and all sat down in front of him, leaning on the sides of the boat and propping their arms up on elbows in expectation. Everyone was sitting somewhere or leaning against something, or sitting amongst the rigging. Granted, some were more expectant than others and at least three crewmen seemed to be very embarrassed by the rest of the crew's actions, but there was still a general air of 'fun'. This, Ace thought, was quite unusual on a cutthroat pirate ship.

And then simultaneously, the closest of the crew started chanting "Story-time! Story-time!"

Okay, that was a little weird. Can you say kindergarten, _much_?

"Well, see," he began and everyone leaned in closer. It was disconcerting to say the least, "I left my home in Fuchsia village fairly recently on a mission to become a pirate and perhaps find One Piece and become King of Pirates," a lot of the pirates nodded, it had been their dream too, "But I didn't have a boat or anything," Ahh, yes they knew what that was like, "so I stole this small little raft-thing from this mean lady at the docks and apparently she was the wife of some Navy officer or something—Anyways, the hag calls the navy and suddenly I have this big Navy galleon after me."

_Gasp!_

"I'm a pretty good sailor and the raft was surprisingly fast so I was making good time. Thought I might get away. And then I fall asleep at the rudder,"

_What? How the hell do you fall asleep at the rudder!_

"Hey! I have a condition! I'm a narcoleptic!"

_A Narca-whatta?_

"NAR-CO-LEP-TIC, I randomly fall asleep. Usually at crappy times."

_Oh, that must suck…_

"Yes, but what can I say, life's a bitch. Anyways, the next thing I know I'm in the Brigg."

_Uh-oh, how did you escape that?_ They all asked.

"I'm getting to it," he assured them, "Okay, so I'm really hungry at this point and there happens to be this old guy in there with me with this big fruit." A few let out triumphant _Oh!_s. They knew where this was going… "Well, while his back is turned I decided he wouldn't really mind if I just, you know, _tasted_ it. So I grabbed it and put the thing in my mouth."

"When the guy woke up he was really mad and started wailing on me but he caught on fire,"

_Caught on Fire?_

"Yeah, he caught on fire…"

_Wait, how did that happen?_

"Well, _I_ kind of did it…"

_KIND OF-did it, or DID-do it?_

"Can you guys just shut up and let me finish!"

_Jeez, fine…_

"Okay, so as some of you might have realized, it was a forbidden fruit. The Mera-Mera fruit to be exact," he demonstrated by holding up his now flaming fingers.

_Ooooooh!_ A few of them were nodding smugly to their neighbors saying "I told you So!", and "Didn't I tell you?"

"Yes, pretty cool. So anyways, I end up setting the whole ship on fire, unfortunately I couldn't swim so when it went down I almost drowned, but there were a bunch of other Navy ships there—apparently it was a fleet, led by Vice Admiral Kaizer, but that doesn't really matter—one of them picked me up and I was going to fight them off and steal the boat but my narcolepsy kicked in and I ended up caught again."

_Again_!

"Yeah, again. But this time, I didn't catch the whole ship on fire; I just melted the bars to my cell and got out. They didn't have any seastone cuffs. It wasn't any problem to _pretend_ a narcoleptic fit and wait for the guy watching me to relax his guard and put down his rifle. So then I generally kicked butt, and set the rest of the fleet on fire and sailed off with the ship, fell asleep and here I am!"

"Wait, that can't be right, a kid like you fought off a whole ship of the Navy?" one of the crewman repeated skeptically, "I mean, most of them are incompetent to say the least, but still."

"Well, they don't call me Fire Fist Ace for nothing. Or they wouldn't if they actually called me Fire Fist Ace. Which they don't…but they will eventually."

_Huh?_ Was the general reaction. Oh, how he enjoyed confusing people…

The mustached giant was snorting in laughter, "Fire Fist Ace huh? Well, Ace we just happened to have an opening in the crew, one of my mates retired and we need someone to take his place."

Retired? Did pirates ever retire?Ace didn't know; he didn't see why any of them would want too. Whitebeard certainly hadn't.

"You up for the job, kid?" the Captain asked expectantly. A lot of the crewmen were nodding there heads in agreement and asking/pleading/demanding that he join. It would be so fun, they said. Ace thought they were all insane.

"What?" Ace was dumbfounded. When did this happen: First he was a prisoner, then an entertainer and now a crewmember? Ace was good, but he wasn't _that_ good. Not yet anyways. He was pretty cocky but he was also realistic (unlike his brother Luffy) and this seemed a little sudden.

"You're serious about this? Just like that?" He'd been planning on being a captain, not a deckhand. And what about the ship he just stole, that was _his_ ship! He could theoretically start to hire a crew and sail around pillaging or whatever. That had been his plan.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeease Ace?" One of the crewmen begged, hanging onto his pant leg and wearing the Don't-Break-My-Innocent-Little-Heart face that his little brother had frickin' _invented_. Hell no was he falling for that one. Even so, the fact that that face was on a grown man made Ace feel more than a little queasy.

"Pretty pleeeeeeeeeeeease?" four other crewmen grabbed onto his leg. Ace, lowered the rim of his hat in embarrassment. _Come on, this is just juvenile_.

"I just got a ship of my own; I was hoping to start my own crew not join up with someone else's." he told them, and they only increased their efforts, another two crewmen grabbed onto his leg, he tried to move but almost tripped. "Seriously people, if you don't let go, I'll have to burn someone."

No one let go. He sighed exasperatedly.

"Toss him overboard. He's trouble walking, not to mention obviously useless," someone from the crew said, and Ace felt a fire ignite in his attitude and he barely heard the outcry from the crew against the speaker. Despite his usually amiable mood, Ace could be a hot-head sometimes. And this was one of those times.

Insulting my legitimacy as a pirate…Oh, whoever said that was going to regret it.

It was the guy leaning against the mast. He looked about Ace's age, possibly a year or two younger, and slightly shorter with a build that was something between Luffy's gummy-ness and Ace's toned muscles. His spiky blue hair and glaring gold eyes were a little intimidating, but Ace would be lying if he said he hadn't seen intimidating looking guys before. Half the time they weren't all they were cracked up to be. Besides, this guy gave him the impression that this was how he always was.

Ace did find it strange he was wearing a long sleeved white captain's coat with a double row of buttons and lapels so tall they covered the bottom half of his face, and bandaged, wrapped shins and wrists. Whitebeard was the captain, not this dude. Whatever, Ace supposed that rank didn't necessarily have anything to do with one's concept of fashion. But still, it was untraditional.

Ace smirked ominously at the blue-haired guy. Can't take the heat, huh? Not a real Pirate, huh? "Fine I'll join the crew," I'll show that bastard.

There was a loud 'Hurrah!' as everyone on ship (well except for whatshisface) cheered, and began rushing him around the deck introducing him to his new crewmates, telling him people's names, which he forgot instantly, and passing around alcohol. There was also mention of introducing him to people on other ships in the fleet.

"What other ships?" he asked.

_Yeah, Whitebeard had his own fleet._

"Really?"

_Well yeah, he was The Great Pirate Whitebeard: Edward Newgate, after all. Only the Strongest Man in the World!_

"I didn't know that."

_Now, let us tell YOU a story…_


	2. 001 Port Altra

**H A Z I N G Trial by Fire**

**Series:** One Piece

**Main Characters:** Ace (obviously), and Whitebeard (also obvious), and a bunch of OC crew members.

**Rating: **T as of yet, mostly for cussing and pillaging and violence…you know, pirate stuff.

**Genre:** Action/Adventure, but really a little bit of everything.

**Summery:** Ace is picked up by Whitebeard's crew, but it'll take even more than a Fire Fist to earn his place in the elite crew. That is if he survives the hazing.

**General Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece or anything associated with One Piece. Anything here you recognize as from One Piece is therefore not mine, I'm not making money off it and I don't claim to have created it.

---

**H A Z I N G : Trial by Fire**

_By LGR_

_Beta-Reading by Raptor the Predator: Thank you Raptor!_

_(**Under-Crewman Saga**: Vice Admiral Kaizer Arc)_

**--Log Entry One—**

**_Port Altra_**

---

Captain Whitebeard, Edward Newgate, turned out to be a very prestigious pirate captain, and was in fact the only man in the world to ever match Gold Roger in a fight, thus gaining his epithet of The Strongest Man in the World. He also had an enormous fleet, although all the other boats were not with the flagship at the moment for reasons that Ace hadn't really heard due to the fact that he'd fallen asleep. His narcolepsy was what made him an individual but sometimes it was a bitch.

After it was decided that he would join the crew, the Navy ship (God dammit, _his_ ship!) had been given to one of White Beard's subordinates and half of the crew members had piled-in to man it. The new captain (who had been the former Quartermaster) had grinned a little too cheekily at Ace as the two ships had separated, and because of this indecision Ace had landed a nice Fire Punch to the hideously large and feathered hat the man had been wearing at the time.

Ace wasn't sorry. It had been a disgustingly ugly hat and had deserved to be wiped off the face of the planet. But this didn't really answer the question that Ace (and he suspected everyone) really wanted know, which was: where the hell had he gotten that ridiculous thing? Ace took to the idea that the Quartermaster had made it himself, and for some reason this amused him to no end. Ha.

But he still hadn't given up on his ship. If he thought about it, Ace was rather possessive of what was his. His hat, for instance, was never to be touched by anyone other than himself or in a special circumstance where the contact would save the hat's life…er…the hat's…fabric? Whatever. Save the hat from its demise. Anyway, this was no different with that ship and seeing the stupid Quartermaster sail away with it, with his stupid hat and his stupid grin, really lit the coals on fire.

One thing about him the crew hadn't known before they hired him: Ace was a ranter who believed that he was always right. Ace on a ranting spree was truly a sight to behold. Back at his own village he had held many a philosophical discussion at Makino's bar with members of Shanks' crew and occasionally his brother (but they usually only argued on what food tasted best, so as they both liked meat, it wasn't much of an argument).

Ace didn't rant very often, (it was a weapon best kept hidden so as to cause maximum effect when the time came to use it,) but when he chose to, whoever was on the other side of the argument was usually done for.

Which was why Ace was supremely confused when Whitebeard didn't seem to care that the ship was his or how many reason's Ace could give to support that he should captain it. The rest of the crew had certainly been cowed, but Whitebeard seemed to be immune to the eldest D brother's influence. After the flames had started jumping, and the crew decided that the other side of the boat was a much safer place to exchange dating tips, Whitebeard had finally given in enough to say that after Ace gained a few ranks in the crew they might give it back to him…_might_…if he was lucky…and if they were feeling particularly gracious that day.

Ace had _not_ been satisfied but beating up an old man (if he _could_ beat him up, he _was_ considered the strongest man in the world, after all) wouldn't really sit well with his moral compass, so he did what he always did when things seemed to be sucking: he had a narcoleptic attack. Yes, he had been about to continue convincing Whitebeard (he'd decided a demonic grin and leaping flames would give that Lunatic Arsonist-vibe and maybe pressure the old man into saying Yes this time), when he suddenly fell asleep.

It usually didn't happen when he was standing up, but then again stranger things had happened to him before. Earlier today for instance, but no he couldn't think of that, else his brain might shatter. Grown men should not pout. Usually. Ace suspected that his little brother would be able to get away with it for the rest of his life.

Well, after he'd finally awoken, Ace had found that the crew was discussing whether to stop at the next port or not. It was concluded that if the Navy found out that the ship was a stolen vessel of theirs, they would most certainly want it back, and so it needed to be refurbished. Ace had been of the mind that there was no Navy fleet big or small that could possibly stand a chance, but he had been the minority on a majority vote.

He thought they just wanted to go to Port. The exchange of supposedly infallible pick-up lines between bachelors of the crew was a dead give away. He had to keep himself from saying anything as he listened to line after line of puns and innuendos that he could already tell were more likely to cause a girl to slap them then anything else.

Ace was an equal-opportunity kind of guy when it came to dating and could smugly say that with his dashing good looks and relatively easy-going personality (as long as you didn't piss him off too bad), he was a hit with just about anyone, and was fairly experienced when it came to the dating scene. Because of this he was mildly entertained the whole way to Port Altra as he listened to three males he couldn't remember the names of post one stupid plan after another to pick up chicks.

After an hour or so, they docked, and as the most recently accepted member, it was unilaterally decided for him that he would guard the ships and everyone else would frolic about the relatively large port town, having increasing amounts of fun, while he did not. Even Whitebeard, the old guy himself, ran off merrily followed by his harem of beautiful nurses fumbling with his IVs, saying something about rum.

If this was how things were going to be, he had half a mind to set the whole village on fire and take off. No, but he couldn't do that. And besides, they'd said Whitebeard was considered the man closest to One Piece. If he wanted to find it then Whitebeard was his best chance. There was no way in hell his _little_ brother Luffy was going to get there first!

Sighing, he tried to relax as he listened to the sounds of bustling people, waves lapping against the hull and the sea gulls gliding on the wind. There was next to no chance that anyone would show up to steal anything off the ships: this was a waste of time. Besides, if they'd actually thought the ship was in danger then it would be pretty stupid to set someone to watch it that had narcolepsy and could fall asleep at any moment.

—especially when person with said narcolepsy was sitting/lying down on the deck in the warm sun with a cool breeze and not doing anything.

Like now.

It was practically _asking_ for a disaster. _Damn_ but he was hungry. He could totally go for some meat right now. Hell, he'd go for _salad_, even if it _was_ rabbit-food and left him just as hungry afterwards. Who the hell had gotten the bright idea to eat a bunch of leaves, anyways? Well, he supposed if you he were to put enough dressing and croutons on it he might be satiated…for a couple of minutes.

Ace shot up and hit the wooden railing of the boat, cursing. He hadn't even noticed he was falling asleep, but the grating sound of a saw had snapped him out of it. Snatching his hat from where it had fallen on the deck, he swept a drowsy yet irritated eye over the railings.

It was the guy that always had a toothpick in his mouth, and he was violently sawing at the side of the other ship. _HIS_ ship!

Ace freaked.

"_WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY SHIP?"_

The guy stopped his sawing and turned around, looking at him with a bored expression, saying, "Er, cutting it up, _duh_," then turned back to his sawing at the ship's railings.

"_WHY?"_

"Tch, so it doesn't look like a damn Navy ship," he told him, putting down the saw and picking up a mallet and proceeded to pound the crap out of the unsuspecting wooden support. Ace winced as his ship—_HIS SHIP!—_was virtually assaulted by the Carpenter. _Carpenter my ass! _The guy didn't look like he knew the first thing about woodworking!

"_GAHHHHHHH!"_

"Don't worry; Saikoro always looks like that when he's working. It usually turns out right in the end… Usually," said a deep female voice dryly.

Looking down at the dock, Ace saw that the voice belonged to a previously unnoticed person sitting in a lawn chair with an attached sun umbrella, drinking iced tea and smoking from a long ornate pipe that spewed purple smoke. Shielding his eyes from the sun glare, it turned out to be one of Whitebeard's many nurses, a tall elegant lady in her late twenties with short purple hair cut in and angled style, wearing purple tinted sunglasses.

Ace didn't know what the hell a nurse was doing smoking, but he supposed if a (sick?) old man could drink barrels of rum then a nurse could smoke.

"Oh, Tsutsu," Saikoro stopped demolishing the railing, saying to the nurse with mock sweetness: "You're always flattering me like that…"

Tsutsu blew a smoke circle from her pipe and said dully, "Yeah, whatever," the sun refracted from her sunglasses as she turned her head to look down the dock. It was the blue haired guy from yesterday, "Back already Kaikaku?" she asked him.

He didn't say anything, just vaulted with inhuman agility onto the deck, silently climbed up the crow's nest and disappeared from sight. How friendly. This guy really wasn't earning any points in the likeability department.

A few seconds later he jumped over the rim of the crow's nest and landed like a cat on the deck, making next to no sound as he then jumped onto the dock and walked away without making any response.

"What's up with him?" Ace asked Tsutsu pointing up at where Kaikaku had gone.

Tsutsu just shrugged, taking another puff on her pipe, "He's always like that: doesn't open his mouth except to say something scathing. I've seen him go a week without saying anything at all."

"Yeah, he's a jackass. A friggin' punk," Saikoro added, and then pulled out a sledgehammer (apparently neither the saw nor the mallet had been destructive enough), from nowhere and began to beat the bejesus out of another piece of the railing, then kicking it onto the dock with a clatter. He might have been imagining things, but the sound the discarded railing made as it hit the dock, sounded decidedly like an obscenity directed at the carpenter.

Saikoro didn't seem to notice and he picked up the sledgehammer and let another piece of the ship have it. Ace's poor, poor ship…he prayed to the boat-gods that the ship would manage to survive its encounter with the vicious woodworker. Sigh, too bad the boat-gods didn't exist.

"Kai isn't that bad. He probably came to pick up his gear; I think there's a crack in one of his meteors. He's probably getting it fixed," Tsutsu admitted, blowing smoke from her nose then taking a sip of her iced tea.

"Yeah, at least he isn't an annoying idiot like Waku," Saikoro groaned as he stopped kicking at the ship to wipe his brow, "If there were two Wakus I might have to kill myself; dead serious. _Why_ the hell I always get partnered with that guy…" Saikoro said exasperatedly, shaking his head as he paused in his destruction of the ship. But only for a moment, then he immediately started up again, perhaps a little more furiously then was called for.

The action did not escape Ace: "Is it really necessary to beat the shit out of it like that?" he asked, wincing as a large splinter sliced through the air, nearly skewering a seagull in flight. The carpenter was alerted by the seagull's cry of anger, and ran to take cover in the boat. The seagull circled, waiting for his target, but it soon grew bored and left.

Ace watched the exchange, trying to remember if this was normal seagull behavior. He took the fact that he wasn't sure as a bad sign. Oh well.

Saikoro peeked around; making sure the bird was indeed gone before swizzling his toothpick around in his mouth and finally answering the question Ace had asked earlier. "Probably not," he answered, and went back to his work, letting fly the sledgehammer once more, knocking a large piece of the ship onto the deck with the rest of the railing and a few discarded decorative-molding pieces. Ace winced; he really did not like the idea that his ship was slowly but surely being transformed into debris.

Saikoro hefted the sledgehammer onto his shoulders and picked up his earlier statement, saying, "I mean, at least Kaikaku is really smart, even if he's a smart_ass_. Waku's just plain stupid."

Ace didn't really remember anyone's name; he'd heard so many new ones at once, it was hard to keep them all straight. Besides that, he wasn't thinking right: he needed food. Like, _now_.

"Guys, think it's okay if I go to a restaurant or something? I'm starving," he asked the senior crewmen.

"But then whose gonna watch the ships?" Saikoro asked him, pausing in his demolition.

Ace blinked, "...are you serious?" he asked confusedly.

It seemed he was.

"_You _guys?" Ace added.

"Oh…yeah, I knew that," the toothpick sucking carpenter scratched his unshaven chin, "Just don't desert. Or we'll have to go after you. And kill you."

"Ah, sure…" Ace replied, not sure whether that was meant to be funny or was an actual warning. The elder D brother stood up and stretched, causing muffled cracking sounds to emanate from the bones in his spine. It would be good to walk around, if just to get rid of the drowsiness that came with his narcolepsy. He walked down the wooden plank that served as a bridge from the boat to the harbor dock, and made a motion that vaguely resembled a wave, saying "I'll be back in an hour or so."

"Just a sec, kid," Saikoro stopped him, jumping down from the vessel he was working on, and walking over, "You ever been to Port Altra before?"

Ace thought for a second, he hadn't been on his own for very long yet, but he'd still been to quite a few different islands. Port Altra didn't show up in his memory, however, so he said, "No, why?"

"Well, this Port is known for its…violent tendencies."

_Eh?_

"Violent tendencies?" Ace asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say, that the last time we were here, I was out for no more than twenty minutes and got jumped a total of fifteen times. The people here will take any opportunity to start a fight. The first time at this Port is always a shock, even if you're ready for it. You shouldn't go out alone." Saikoro warned.

_Hmmm, a port full of crazy people…_well, at least it was original…well, kind of original…actually the people had been crazy at nearly every port he'd visited. What was the world coming to when the insane outnumbered the mentally sound? He shrugged at his own question. "I'll be fine," Ace answered. After all, Fire Fist Ace was _always_ fine.

Unless, of course, he was locked in the brig of a Navy Ship.

But then in that case, he _would_ be fine. Eventually. Because there would be no doubt in his mind that he would manage get away at some point. Not only was he just _that good_, but the Navy sucked _that much_. It was probably due to distinctly low pay for enlisted crewmen, but who was he to complain?

Oh wait, he wasn't. Complaining that is.

Man, he needed food.

Ace casually shuffled down the wooden dock, not really expecting trouble. _Saikoro was probably just exaggerating_, he figured. This theory seemed to be proven true as Ace wasn't immediately assaulted after setting foot into the cobblestone street. He changed his mind however, after he stopped short of the door to a tavern just as a man was thrown clean threw it. Ace only had time to blink before a second man jumped through the door frame after him, hand already pulled back in a fist waiting to land a punch to the face. Watchers spilled through the door, yelling encouragement to their favorite fighter, and soon the onlookers got into brawls of their own.

Ace carefully dodged the situation, trying to be as discreet and unassuming as possible for a guy with no shirt and a bright orange beacon of a hat on could be as he meandered through the street fighters. Just because he _could_ roast everyone here, didn't mean he particularly _wanted_ to. He'd just have to find another tavern or restaurant. It wasn't as if it could be like this at everyone one, right? Ever the optimist, Ace continued down the street in search of a long over due meal.

Too bad it wasn't that easy.

Inspecting the window of probably the fifth food establishment he'd passed, hoping to West Blue and back that there wasn't another tussle going on in this one, he barely brushed against a large man while backing up. It hadn't really registered to Ace, until a fist with an anchor tattooed on the wrist, planted itself in the wood-siding of the building, shedding splinters and debris as the man removed the hand. The man, a large sailor (how come everyone in this town was so big?) whipped around to face Ace, who'd managed to dodge to the man's left, automatically taking a defensive position learned from years of street-fighting as kid who bailed his little Bro out of confrontations with bullies, and a young adolescent on his own out at sea.

Ace had just enough time to give the man a what-the-fuck-was-that-for face before another fist came hurtling towards him with dangerous speed. Ace smirked, he wasn't one to start a fight (most of the time anyways,) but he'd damn well finish one. He easily dodged, turning languidly and letting the blow fly past him. The man hadn't planned for another dodge and was quite surprised. Ace had to give him a little credit, the punch was pretty fast, but that didn't stop him from knocking the man to the ground with an elbow to the spin as the sailor overextended.

Sometimes it was good to be him.

Whistling, more to be irritating than anything else, Ace straightened his hat (not that it really needed it, but the action added to the _and-that-is-that_ affect he was trying to make) before shoving his hands casually into his pockets, and continuing on his way as if nothing had happened.

But not before stepping on the thug's knuckles painfully, as the man made a stab at Ace's ankle with a concealed knife as the pirate passed by.

Ace also had to round kick another man into the brick wall of a housing complex, as the attacker jumped from the crowd to avenge his buddy cringing on the ground with five broken fingers and a hindered breathing. This guy was a little luckier and would probably make it out with only a minor concussion and a large brick-shaped bruise.

Actually, make that _two_ bruises: Ace was wearing heavy, metal-toed combat boots.

After glancing around at the gathered crowd, (most of which were staring gape-mouthed at the two injured men groaning in the street,) to make sure no one else felt the sudden urge to get there ass kicked, he continued down the street intent on not getting into anymore fights. He might be in the mood for a fight after lunch (dinner?), but until then, he just wanted to find some damn food.

He was getting _frustrated!_

Turning the corner next to a pawn shop, he ran into someone, knocking them to the ground. It was a smaller, skinny male, probably an office clerk. Who didn't seem to be making a fuss (_thank _you!), and accepted the hand and apology Ace offered.

That was, until the clerk tried to use the proffered hand to fling Ace into a wall behind him.

But, as he'd noted before, the man was scrawny and not very strong, and Ace just sighed tiresomely as the man yanked and yanked on the unyielding arm, while Ace shook his head back and forth thinking _God, is this town for real?_ After a minute of watching the man hang off the pirate's arm in the effort to _something_ to the offending limb, (Ace wasn't sure what; there was no chance of the man using the arm to do _anything_ to the elder D brother, much less throw him through a wall,) he flung to clerk off his arm, into a pair of trash cans in the street.

This was getting really old, really fast.

The next encounter occurred unprovoked (as far as he knew), and had come out of no where. Another townsperson came leaping off a roof top, (hoping to get the _'jump'_ on him? Okay, bad pun) and landed a kick that sent loose cobbles and dust billowing up from a crater in the street. Ace had back-flipped out of the way, landing a jaw-wrenching kick to the man's face in the process, and then a swift punch to the man's eye after the prior move had failed to bring the man down.

Ace was just finishing up with the roof-jumper, when he turned around soon enough to register a man with a knife and lean to the side, grabbing hold of the man's wrist in a bone-crunching grip with his left hand, and kick the knife away as the man dropped it. The pirate then kicked the knifeman's legs from underneath him with his right foot, and shoved the man into the street, his right hand tight around the knifeman's throat.

The man was alive, albeit passed out.

Seeing another man come up behind him, did a one-handed front flip, kicking his aggressor in the face as he dodge yet again, landing in a defensive position.

The man didn't get up, but Ace still saw fit to scream out, "_Oh my fucking god, I just want lunch!_" The pirate ducked and grabbed the arm that had flown sharply over his shoulder, flinging everything attached to it into the ground. The man, yet another local bar tough, looked as if he might get up for more, but Ace was sick of this.

Clenching his fist, he tapped the powers of the _mera mera no mi_, causing his hand to be engulfed in flames. The heat caused the air to ripple as hot air met cold, and licks of flame danced off his clenched hand.

The man (and actually about ten others behind him who had been planning on jumping in), formed an expression of mixed shock and terror. The demonic grin and narrowed, shadowy eye peeking from beneath his hat probably hadn't helped matters either. The man (and the ten other guys), shouted random explicative after random explicative, as he decided there were far better people to be accosting, safer too, and ran from the pirate's sight just as suddenly as they had arrived.

Banishing his flame fist, Ace turned a rare frown on the crowd, making sure it was ingrained in every onlooker's mind just what would happen if they messed with Fire Fist Ace. Well-done was an understatement. Charcoal would be more accurate.

The crowd certainly seemed afraid, and Ace managed to walk a full fifteen yards without being interrupted by a punch, kick, or knifeman.

By the end of the next hour, he absolutely _hated_ port Altra.

After dodging a couple more would-be attackers and taking down the more determined ones with a couple well-aimed punches and maybe a Fire Fist demonstration or two, Ace finally came upon a much quieter part of the town. Taking the distinct lack of major vandalism as a good sign, Ace walked with relief (not that he had been worried, just _supremely _irritated. _God_, how irritated he was. He could have set the town on fire out of principal, he hated it so much at this point,) to the nearest tavern, a rather nice little place called the Three Lemon Trees. He hoped they had a lot of chefs on duty.

Strolling in, mood getting better and better by the minute, he was met at the door by a young waitress who giggled after he smiled at her, then showed him to a table and left him to rove through the menu and fiddle with his silverware as she went to get him the drink he'd asked for.

Looking through the menu, he saw that the place mainly specialized in sea food and various types of pastas. Ace was disappointed, he'd wanted red meat. Whatever, he'd eat a Baked Barnacle Salad at this point….actually that sounded pretty good.

He put the menu down on the nice, clean table, still pleasantly surprised that the waitress hadn't pulled a tessen or something out of her blouse. Although that would have been cool for a second, afterwards he would have been so pissed. Ace couldn't help but glance nervously (not that he was nervous, just…cautious) wondering which of the people in the restaurant would jump him first. That fat old woman manning the bar? That lady with her boyfriend in the corner? Those two twin sisters across the room?

Ace was especially wary of the big busted lady at a booth not two tables away; her dress and top could have held so many dangerous weapons…

"Here you go," the waitress (her tag said Palmina, but heck knows if that was her real name) told him, her voice angry and her eye catching where his had been looking, and no doubt getting the wrong expression. He supposed she wouldn't believe him if he told her he was just watching to make sure she didn't pull a canon out of her shirt.

Yup, that's how it always was. Women never believed a damn thing a man said, especially if he was under forty; if the man happened to be in his late teens, than he was a walking defamation.

The elder D-brother turned his patented _gotta-love-me_ half-smirk, half-grin on her. She tried to hold out, but caved in the end (damn, he was good), and asked for his order with a flirty air.

The waitress had blinked when Ace had ordered one of everything on the menu, but managed to hold her service smile admirably as she warned him that there would be a wait and did he want an appetizer? Of course he wanted an appetizer, he'd ordered one of everything, hadn't he? Oh right, sorry about that Sir.

She practically ran to the kitchens.

Oh well, no date from her. Not that he had time for one anyways.

The waitress came back fairly quickly with the food that took the least preparation. You guessed it: Salad. Whatever, he was hungry, and it wasn't as if salad tasted bad, it just wasn't very filling. Picking up his silverware, the pirate began to shovel food into his mouth at light speed, few moments later the waitress came back with more food and Ace cleared plate after plate.

And so it was that everyone in the room was too busy staring at the orange-loving pirate to notice when Vice-Admiral Kaizer entered the Three Lemon Trees, followed by at least twenty Navy grunts, and an ensign.

Ace had a fork just about to dip into his spaghetti, when the Vice Admiral pulled an elaborately enameled blue and silver engraved with the word _Azure_, long-barreled navy pistol, and unceremoniously shot the fork from the pirate's hand.

Dammit, he was eating, couldn't this wait? Ace glared at the Vice Admiral, standing with his pistol still smoking after the bullet's exit from the firearm.

Kaizer was a fairly tall middle-aged man with a grey-streaked blue-green ponytail and garibaldi beard-mustache, hard gold eyes and five slash marks over his left eye. An elaborate coat and hat showed his high station as a naval officer. His back was crossed with more bayoneted rifles than the man would ever need, and the chest strap was packed with just as many pistols, though none as elaborate as Azure. The two rapiers at his belt, and buckled dagger on his leg looked like afterthoughts by comparison.

Ace, gave the man a raised eye brow, and the vice admiral responded in turn by cocking the hammer of his pistol.

Whatever, Ace thought, then turned to the waitress, shuddering to his right, "Waitress, can I get another—?" Another shot rang out as Ace's glass of water exploded from another shot.

Ha, ha. And they called _him_ immature? Here was the Vice Admiral playing: almost pop Ace with a lead bullet; let's see how much he can take! The Navy was such a fraud.

"What the hell do you want already," he demanded of the Vice Admiral, irritated, "I'm trying to have lunch, do you have any idea how much of a hassle it was just to find a riot-free restaurant?"

"Portgas D. Ace," Kaizer spoke, his voice low and sinister, "You are hereby under arrest for being a known pirate, resisting arrest, assaulting numerous naval officers and enlisted naval crewmen, destruction of naval property, and theft of naval property, for which the penalty is death by hanging," the man let peel a low chuckle, "But if I accidentally kill you in some other fashion, I don't believe the Navy will be too distraught. You have but one chance to go peaceably."

Ace sighed; Kaizer was a good fighter, no doubt about that. Ace had had it rough when he'd escaped his seafaring prison aboard that navy ship, even with his powers. Although one would think the Admiral's specialty to be guns, he was more apt to use his rapiers, especially in close hand combat. Ace was well aware that he'd gotten pretty lucky when a sail haft unexpectedly close-lined the man from behind.

Well, if the man wanted another fight, he'd get one, but there was no way in hell Ace was turning himself in. That young ensign behind the Admiral was holding seastone cuffs, that bastard.

The pirate stood up casually, and gave the Admiral one of his most irritating smirks. The man only pulled back the hammer of his pistol, and aimed the barrel straight for Ace's head ready for another shot. It was all for show, the man knew Ace was too fast to get hit by a bullet aimed for his head, even if it was almost point blank range.

"Turning yourself in, pirate?" he asked Ace.

"You know I've never really liked the Navy. Too many orders, not enough entertainment, the uniforms aren't really my style and besides that I've always been allergic to self-absorbed assholes. I don't plan on keeping company with you guys anytime soon." Ace set himself in a defensive stance, ready to dodge or power up a fire fist. There was no way anyone was putting cuffs on him.

"Oh, but I think you will," Kaizer smiled ominously, and just as Ace was wondering what the hell the man had been taking, the Vice Admiral swung his arm to the right, his pistol now pointed directly at the forehead of another waitress, who shuddered, staring down the barrel in horror.

"No, Vicky!" the waitress who'd been serving Ace cried out.

"You couldn't do it," Ace told him, but the truth was that he had every belief that the Admiral could and would kill a civilian to get him into custody. The pirate was trying to think of a way out of this but the only thing coming to his mind was _fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"Care to take that gamble?" The Admiral shifted his aim and shot. Blood spouted from a wound on the woman's ear. The lady covered her bleeding ear with her hands, staring glassy eyed at the Admiral as if he were the devil himself.

Ace was a pirate, but that didn't mean he was in the habit of letting civilians take hits for him, and the Admiral knew it. _Shit! What the fuck am I supposed to do?_ He wasn't really expecting the Vice Admiral to show up at all, or if he did, not for a long time. He hadn't thought the man would try to follow him. This made Ace wonder if he'd been following the Navy Ship Ace had hijacked or had just heard the pirate was in town when the man happened to be in Port Altra. What if his (it so _was_ his fucking ship, no matter what the old man said!) and Whitebeard's ships had been taken? Were Saikoro and Tsutsu okay? They were pretty cool people, he didn't want them getting caught on account of him.

Dammit.

This situation just sucked. Ace was actually surprised that he was awake, considering his normal luck with his narcolepsy (which was to say _bad_). He almost wished it would kick in and solve the problem for him by just getting himself caught. Then he could miraculously get himself away later and everything would be okay…or something like that. He'd be happy with everything being slightly less shitty; he wasn't all that picky.

Dammit, there was no other choice.

"Cuff me," he said.

**Review Responces! **

**Leland Lancaster**, it's cool to see you come over from my other story INDURAGA MANO. I hope you like this one as much as (or even better than) the other! Please review again! (also I'm about 2/3 done with the next chapter of INDURAGA MANO, so check back to it in a week or two it might be updated...maybe...)

**Thermopylae**, thanks for the in-depth critique, I'll try to keep all that in mind. I really like first-person stream of consciousness style of writing, I think it's very interesting, but I hate writing in first person: I think it's really awkward if you have to switch between writing the point of view of different characters. My style is me trying to be a more personal third-person, like the cognizant third-person you mentioned. I'm trying my best. I hope you read the other chapters and give me pointers there as well. You're really helpful and encouraging while still being truthful and critical, and I think that's great! Please read and review again!

**Captain-Hina's-Love-Slave**, I'm glad you think I do Ace well. I think of him as a more mature (and even hotter, in my opinion) Luffy. I hope you continue to read my fanfiction. R&R!

**Shawna D. **yes, I am totally continuing. I can't promise how much I'll update, though. But all the chapters bar the first seem to be ending up being long, so they will be big(gish) updates. I think it's funny how Ace has narc attacks too. I plan to use them in the future mwhahahaha!

**  
Thank you, everyone, for reading!**


	3. 002 Kaikaku and Kaizer

**H A Z I N G**

**Series:** One Piece

**Main Characters:** Ace (obviously), and Whitebeard (also obvious), and a bunch of OC crew members.

**Rating: **T as of yet, mostly for cussing and pillaging and violence…you know, pirate stuff.

**Genre:** Action/Adventure, but really a little bit of everything.

**Summery:** Ace is picked up by Whitebeard's crew, but it'll take even more than a Fire Fist to earn his place in the elite crew. That is if he survives the hazing.

**General Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece or anything associated with One Piece. Anything here you recognize as from One Piece is therefore not mine, I'm not making money off it and I don't claim to have created it.

---

**H A Z I N G**

_By LGR_

_(**Beta-Reading** by **Raptor the Predator**: Thank you Raptor!)_

(Under-Crewman Saga: Vice-Admiral Kaizer Arc)

**--Log Entry Two--**

_**Kaikaku and Kaizer**_

---

Kaikaku knew something was wrong as soon as he entered the dock.

For one thing, there was no loud sawing, banging, or crashing, so Saikoro was not working on the ship as he was supposed to be doing, which was decidedly odd. Kai knew that Saikoro loved woodworking and would not try to get out of his job as others might. Unlike most of the crew, he was responsible(-ish). No, there was something else causing the carpenter to halt his renovations.

Others wouldn't have given it much thought: he's obviously taking a break, they would say. Or perhaps his tools broke and he had to get them fixed. Or maybe while working he had acquired a splinter and was taking it out. These were all plausible explanations; regular, non-sinister ways to explain the phenomena without jumping to conclusions.

This was precisely what was wrong with them.

Kai was intensely paranoid. He knew it. Everyone knew it: to Kai, everyone was a potential enemy; anything could be an act of hostility. If his behavior caused him to be disliked, oh well, he wasn't sorry. He'd never really liked people anyways. He'd never really liked much of anything.

This philosophy led him to deduce that obviously something had happened to Saikoro.

On this occasion he happened to be right. Stepping distrustfully onto the sun-filled, breezy dock, he saw that both Whitebeard's flagship and the navy ship that the new guy (he didn't particularly like the new guy. What was his name? It was one of those short 'A' names…), had brought with him, were surrounded by naval men with bayoneted rifles at ready.

Exiting the dock, quiet as a shadow, Kai entered a narrow alleyway, and used the closeness of the two buildings to wall-jump his way onto a roof for a better look. Being careful not to displace any of the terra cotta roof tiles, he snuck behind a chimney and peeked around, looking for Tsutsu, Saikoro and the new guy. Ace, that was his name.

He spotted a handcuffed Saikoro on the deck of the naval ship with two navy thugs on either side. The Naval men seemed to be insisting that the carpenter spit out his toothpick, and said carpenter was not complying. It was a pretty entertaining sight; Kai almost laughed. Almost.

Tsutsu and Ace were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, Kai…" a voice whispered. It was Tsutsu's voice, coming from the alleyway.

Kai wasn't falling for it.

He kicked the heavy roof tiles, breaking them from the thin nails holding them in place, and they slid down over the gutter, shattering on the heads of the three navy officers holding Tsutsu hostage below. No doubt, the navy had planned to use Tsutsu to lure him into the alley, but no one knew the navy's tricks better than him (well some might, but that wasn't the point). Tsutsu must have freed herself of their grasp, as the sounds of backs being kicked into stucco walls floated to his ears.

The roof was steeply sloped and it was difficult, but he managed to peek over the gutter; if his balance hadn't been as good as it was he definitely would have fallen.

The violet haired nurse stood in the middle of a pile containing three naval men and shattered roof tiles. She brushed dust from her clothes and straightened her skirt, wearing the same bored-half-to-death look she always did. He jumped down next to her and saw that she still had her hands cuffed together.

Wordlessly, he searched over the three unconscious navy grunts, looking for keys to the handcuffs. Finding three keys hanging off a metal ring on the better dressed of the men—probably the officer—Kai began inserting them into the keyholes in her cuffs. The first key didn't work, but the second made a clicking sound, and the clasps opened, allowing Tsutsu to let the cuffs drop as she rubbed her wrist where the metal had made impressions on her skin.

"How did you know I was captured?" she asked him, pushing up her purple-tinted sunshades as if she _hadn't_ just been in the hands of three of the Navy.

He didn't answer, he didn't need too.

"Oh right," she drawled accusingly, "Just in case, huh? You're lucky I was actually caught or I'd kick your ass." Sometimes she really wished that Kai was one for talking; although he consistently spoke to anyone as if they were an idiot, he had that perfectly crisp enunciation that was just amusing to listen to.

He snuffed: _Of course you would_…

"Don't think I wouldn't," Tsutsu threatened, her voice dark and heavy, but it was empty and they both knew it. Even if she'd really wanted to hurt him, the chances were slim to none (closer to none) that she could manage it. And then he'd just assign her menial chores: sometimes it was good to be the Quartermaster.

(Yes, he had been given the spot now that Lariot had his own ship. In Kai's opinion Lariot had been a crappy Quartermaster. Good riddance to the fool. Him _and_ his stupid hat…)

Kai planted a foot in the wall and vaulted back onto the roof, his floor-length white coat flapping from the air resistance. Luckily there were so many fights in this port that no one really thought much about loud noises and the naval men hadn't been alerted to the nurse's escape by the falling roof tiles.

Tsutsu tried to imitate Kai. When that failed, she tried to pull herself up using the gutter but in the end Kai had to help her: a harrowing experience that nearly dislocated both their arms. Tsutsu wasn't all that heavy, but she and Kai were almost the same height and Kai didn't weigh that much more than she did. Besides that, trying to pull someone onto a roof is just awkward to say the least, especially with a half-broken gutter in the way.

A minute or so later, both pirates were observing the situation from Kai's hiding spot behind the brick chimney.

"I think they were after Ace, not our crew in general, or they might have been more discreet in posting guards on the ship," Tsutsu explained, her voice back to it's normal languid tone, "They didn't seem to care about catching any crewmen coming back from town."

Because of Lariot's new promotion to Captain with the acquirement (via the new-guy) of a sea-worthy vessel, Kai was now the Quartermaster. Tsutsu, on the other hand, was just a Surgeon: it was obvious to both of them who would have to be in charge. Though she was no pushover in a scuffle, Kai was the one who was not only the superiorly ranked seaman, but he knew what the hell he was doing when it came to getting the one-upage on _anyone_, especially the Navy. Kai's former job had been assistant-Quartermaster as well as the infiltration specialist.

"And another thing," she said, "The Navy, they're under Vice Admiral Kaizer."

His eyes narrowed at the name. Fuck, he'd _really_ been hoping the guy had been lying when he said he'd stolen that ship from that particular navy-officer.

"Kaizer," he asked Tsutsu hurriedly, "Are you certain?"

"Of course I'm sure," queue raised eyebrow and Tsutsu's Special Expression #17: _Are-you-hiding-something?_ "Why?" she reciprocated.

She frowned as Kai turned his face without answering. Obviously something was up, but they didn't have time to deal with it right now. She continued her report, "Kaizer came specifically after Ace. Apparently he's sore about the kid stealing his boat."

"Where is he now?"

"Kaizer or Ace?" she asked legitimately but Kai gave her a blank stare. Okay. She had no idea what that was supposed to mean. She didn't hang around the guy _that_ often.

"Either," he explained, irritated.

She snuffed indignantly but said, "Ace went into town two hours ago for lunch, and he's not back yet. Kaizer and some more of the Navy went in looking for him, and they were carrying seastone shackles. I don't know how good a fighter Ace is, but…" her expression took on a slightly concerned visage, as she admitted "I'm a little worried."

"Seastone…" Kai murmured in a tone that _could_ have been a question. Maybe.

Tsutsu answered it, just in case, "It's a type of rock that mimics the effects of the ocean on people with forbidden fruit powers. If they get those cuffs on Ace, he won't be able to use his Devil Fruit Powers."

Kai knew perfectly well what seastone did. Although it was a very rare mineral, the World Government owned a large amount of the land and sea where it was mined, so the Navy had more of it than one might think, and used it to make a number of objects for use in restraining and capturing people with devil fruit powers. In the past, he'd seen it used quite often, to devastating effect.

"Kai? You okay?" she asked him suspiciously, a frown showing itself on her face.

He nodded in answer to her question and looked back at the two ships for a moment, ignoring Tsutsu's Special Expression #15: _don't-think-for-one-second-that-I-believe-you_. Kai was the master at ignoring Tsutsu's faces. None of the crew could remain as enigmatic as he in the midst of Tsutsu's special expressions. It was a talent.

Tsutsu saw that he wasn't paying attention, and sighed exasperatedly, "Do you think we can take all those naval men by ourselves?"

He shrugged: _Possibly…_

"What, don't you have your Meteors?"

He shook his head: _No_

"Couldn't fix them?"

Another shake of the head: _No._

"So neither of use has any weapons…"

"Hn," which translated to: _that is an accurate assessment of the situation._

"So what now?"

Kai thought the answer to that was obvious.

"We need to gather the crew together," Kai said to her, jumping down from the roof. She followed, somehow landing perfectly with inch-and-a-half stiletto heels. "The Captain is most likely at The Barrel Tavern. We will assemble there upon finishing."

"What about Ace?" the violet haired nurse asked.

He just gave her a blank look, as if to say _what about him?_ She responded by giving Kai Special Expression #9: _what-the-hell-do-you-mean-'what about him'?_.

Damnit, he knew that Ace guy would be trouble from the moment he saw the cheeky bastard. He mentally knocked his head against the wall. It almost hurt.

"You find the crew…" Kai said tonelessly. Tsutsu smirked, (Special Expression #2: _I-knew-you'd-see-things-my-way_). She'd caught the unspoken, _and I'll go after Ace._

She chose to ignore, however, the _Kaikaku: Glare of Ominous Death_ he was shooting at her back like a laser beam. Tsutsu was the expert when it came to ignoring Kai's _Glare of Death_ techniques. It was a very useful skill to have mastered, as Kai's glares were sometimes fatal.

"Alright," she said, "I'm off," She sort of half-waved, half-saluted, before setting off down the street, ducking a leaping aggressor (after all, just because the navy was there, didn't mean they weren't still in Port Altra). The would-be hit-man smacked into a wall and fell to the ground unconscious.

Kai shook his head wordlessly.

---

"Are we there yet?" Ace asked his captors for probably the tenth time in the last five minutes.

Hey, just because he'd agreed to this, didn't mean he had to like it; far from it, in his book.

Kaizer hadn't trusted Ace to go quietly, and so the waitresses Vicky and Palmina (who were sisters, as it turned out) had been abducted to make sure Ace didn't get any ideas about escaping.

It worked. Ace didn't really have any ideas, even if he hadn't been responsible for the fate of the two civilians. Things were sucking right now and Ace was really hoping the idea-fairy would plop him with a big one real soon because he didn't know how long he could play this charade before things got _really_ bad. Following along with the navy was not his style anyway you sliced it.

If Kaizer hadn't had the two hostages, Ace would have taken his chances with kicking out of the grasp of the two guys on either side of him and making a run for it, but the two waitresses _were_ there and his hands were both literally and metaphorically tied.

If he ran, Kaizer _would_ shoot the civilians. Not two minutes ago another one of Port Altra's infamous unprovoked attackers went at Kaizer and was shot dead. No flinching, no hesitation. Ace's expression didn't change through the ordeal, but his blood ran cold. The two hostages were screaming and crying as the rest of their party tried to quiet them. And the navy said pirates were bad. The navy of the World Government was the most corrupt organization on the planet as far as he was concerned.

"Are we there yet?" Ace whined again. Kaizer acted as if he hadn't heard anyone speak, but his lackeys were getting seriously annoyed. It was the best he could do. Fry the small fish and hope the big one would follow. Maybe if Ace and the navy grunts got into a tussle, there would be enough chaos to get the two girls out of harms way and maybe the shackles off his hands. Then things might be even.

Ace made an exaggerated and dramatic sigh of impatience. A vein appeared in the forehead on the sailor to his right. Ace inwardly smirked: he was getting to them. A couple more annoying wines and sighs and they'd be ready to murder him, their admiral be damned. Hah, strange how for once his goal was to create conflict; when usually he tried to avoid it unless there was a good reason or he was incredibly bored.

And even then it wasn't usually much of a conflict: he just beat the crap out of who ever it was. Said person was just trying to get away wondering why they'd chosen this particular person to hassle.

"We should stop for a lunch break," Ace said casually.

The sailor to his right snapped. Rounding on Ace he pulled his fist back saying, "Damnit punk you're gonna—"

"Stop it, man! Don't let him get to you," said the sailor on his left, trying to calm his partner down. The angry-sailor stopped his attack, but the look of fury hadn't left his face, and his hands were shaking, clenching and unclenching as if he were imagining strangling the annoying teen with his bear hands.

Wow, maybe this _wasn't_ such a good idea?

Well that wasn't too surprising; he hadn't really thought it a good idea in the first place. Never mind.

---

Kai meandered through the streets swiftly, so thoroughly annoyed that he gave off a vibe of imminent-death that ensured that no one had even bothered to jump him since the last guy he'd pummeled ten minutes ago nearly to death, before interrogating him with a steel-toed boot pressed over his windpipe. Yes, he was extremely, fervently angry. Ace wasn't anywhere to be found and Kai was hoping that he wasn't dead or else all this effort would have been for nothing. Kai _hated_ wasted effort, even if Ace _was_ a dumbass.

It hadn't been at all difficult to ask if anyone had seen a bare-chested guy in an orange hat. It had been even less difficult to find someone who spouted fire from his fingers (not a very common skill, that). Kai met quite a number of fellows, looking fit for a stay at the hospital, who testified that they had been throttled by a man that fit both descriptions. Well, it seemed Ace wasn't as worthless as he had first appeared. That was good to hear.

Unfortunately, all those asked had either been passed out at the time, or had run away without seeing the direction that Ace had taken. He couldn't even go on where Ace had been seen and where he hadn't. The guy seemed to have been everywhere in his desperate mission to find food. The men asked had had a thing or two to say about that as well.

Curse newbie-pyromaniacs and their stomachs. Curse then to a watery-grave.

And the really shitty part was that most of the informants had been asked the same question earlier by a green-haired naval officer with a bunch of lackeys trailing in his wake.

Perfect.

Entering yet another food establishment, Port Altra being the town that it was, Kai wasn't surprised to see a number of tables knocked over. He also wasn't that surprised at having to use almost precognitive reflexes to dodge a fist aimed at his person and deliver an elbow-blow to the man's neck, instantly putting him under. The entire confrontation took less than a fourth of a second.

Everyone in the tavern was staring at him with wide-eyes, pointed pistols, swords and daggers. A group of waitresses were huddled together in a corner crying.

"We may be a town of ruffians, but at least we don't threaten to kill innocent women!" a brute of a man accused from behind the bar, aiming a rifle directly at Kai, "What the hell do you mean by showing up here after your buddies just came and kidnapped two of my girls?"

Hmm, it seemed there was a bit of a misunderstanding here…

Apparently they thought he was a naval men. They were completely incorrect, but Kai couldn't justify blaming them, as his white, naval commodore's coat kind of did hint to it. The tavern-people had now turned their gaze on the accused, looking like some kind of greek chorus of horror. Kai blinked. God, they were as bad as the crew…

"Excuse me…" he began in his usual drawn-out, quiet, toneless voice.

Apparently the barman didn't like it as he pulled back the hammer of the rifle. Kai raised an eyebrow at the scene before him as the attention of the onlookers swept to the barman again before settling back on Kai. The Barman was slowly clenching the trigger.

Wow…this guy _really_ wanted to shoot him...

"Excuse me," Kaikaku asked again, annoyed at the fact that he would actually have to explain himself to someone, "But am I correct in assuming that a naval officer by the name of Vice-Admiral Kaizer was seen at this location?"

The man snarled, "You're damn straight he was just here! He—"

"_And_…" Kai cut in before the man could get started. This was why he made Uriko do all the supply-buying… "_And_, am I also accurate in assuming that a fellow with an orange hat was involved in the conflict…"

The man narrowed his eyes, before exploding again, "Godamnit! That Kid! He never paid for that mountain of food did he! Why I—"

"Yes, yes we all hate him," Kai hated talking to people like this. It was so much easier to kill/maim them than it was to deal with them. "Am I also correct in assuming that they left together?"

"Yeah, that Man—"

"Right, well, might you enlighten me as to which way they went?" At this point, his speech was as drawn and slow as if he were talking to a small child, foreigner or alcohol-inebriated person. Damn but he was sick of this.

The barman had to take time to think. A _lot_ of time to think. Everyone in the tavern was staring at him, waiting for the man to give him an answer. Kai's mental stop-watch was pushing three-minutes and thirteen seconds, at which point the blue-haired man's gaze changed from _Glare of Imminent Death_ to _Glare of Torturously Slow and Painful Death for You and all You hold Dear, even your Pets, Ex-Spouses and Favorite Sports Stars_.

"Um…" one of the waitresses who had been crying in the corner spoke up, "They turned down Crocus Street with my two cousins as hostages to make the Orange-hat-guy not make any trouble for the Admiral."

"_Thank_ you." Kai sighed, and then walked out.

Everyone broke into discussion, only to instantly shut up again as Kai returned and walked up to the barman who was still holding the shotgun.

"May I borrow that?" Kai asked neutrally.

"Uh…" was the only response. Kai sighed exasperatedly and simply pulled the rifle from his hands as the man blinked at him. Checking how many rounds the rifle had left, he saw it only fired one bullet at a time.

Great…

Well, it was better than nothing, he supposed. At least it was the easy-load smooth-action model. Insert bullet directly into loading port, close it, fire. None of that gunpowder-packing crap.

"Bullets."

"Huh?" the barman blinked at the pirate's sudden word.

"Might I trouble you for some bullets …" Kai overly enunciated for the slow man's benefit.

"Um, here," he answered, pulling out three boxes of ammo with twenty bullets each from a drawer inside the bar and placing them on the bar-top. Kai spared a raised eyebrow at the amount of ammo.

_Now_ we're talking…

"Thank you kindly…" he said wryly looking at the three boxes, before a white-gloved hand peeked from his overlong white coat to silently snatch up the ammo and place them within a hidden, inside pocket. He then ghosting out of the building wordlessly a second time then turned the corner down Crocus Street, rifle in hand.

---

Ace got a lucky break when the Ensign holding onto the two waitresses was jumped.

The Pirate could have warned him, he saw it coming, but as this was exactly what he'd been hoping would happen all along, Ace didn't see any profit in doing something like that. Hell, he even called out to the Ensign, causing him to turn and giving the aggressor a clearer shot.

The assailant threw a mighty punch. The Ensign went _down_.

Yes!

The girls took their chance and made a break for it. Kaizer was quite farther down the street than the rest of his group, and by the time he realized what happened and dashed down the road to aim his pistol at the escapees, they had turned a corner and disappeared.

The citizens of Port Altra might be of the fist-fight hooligan-mold, but guns were a different matter all together. They cleared out. Which was a good thing, as Kaizer was perfectly capable of taking another hostage. He might have taken the thug that attacked his officer, but one of his men shot him in the back of the skull. The Altran hit the ground with a meaty thud, and Ace couldn't help but look away—

—Just in time to see the Ensign who was being helped from the ground by his comrades, get hit back down by a blow from the Vice-Admiral.

"You _IDIOT_," he accused his under-officer.

Ace saw this as a really good chance to cause some trouble.

The pirate wrenched his arms out of the grip of his two guards before they even knew what was happening, and then harshly kicked them into the Vice-Admiral and his entourage, knocking half of them over.

Ace was a much faster runner than the two waitresses had been, even with his hands cuffs behind his back and the debilitating affects of seastone, and by the time Kaizer had violently thrown the crewman off of him and aimed his pistol, the pirate was sliding around the corner of a building of the street, narrowly missing a bullet as it ricocheted off the brick facing. He continued running back the way they had come; away from the waitress girls. The Admiral growled and leapt after him. Having used up all the bullets in his pistol, Kaizer emptied the gun of its used rounds and reloaded as he ran after Ace in close pursuit, the navy thugs just behind him.

---

Even with the helpful information (and weaponry) from the patrons and workers in The Three Lemons Tavern, Kai wasn't exactly expecting to run into Ace so soon after leaving it. And although he _was_ expecting Kaizer to be around, he was imagining the confrontation would involve himself gleefully sniping the bastard from a rooftop. Swift, clean, easy and oh so satisfying. He wouldn't really mind running into the man if the encounter ended in such a fashion.

Kai was _not_ expecting Ace to come running around a corner and fall on top of him as Vice-Admiral Kaizer skidded after, also falling. Kai was much shorter than both men, as well as weighing much less. Needless to say, he was squished. Not a moment later, the rest of the Admiral's crew came barreling around the corner, also falling into the heap.

There was mass thrashing and movement as everyone tried to right themselves before the others, (thus further impeding any chance anyone had of making it upright without falling flat on their face a millisecond later. Funny how that works…), until the Admiral let loose an animalistic roar and suddenly stood rigid, flinging anyone who had been unlucky enough to be on top of him, violently off. When the groups had finally sorted themselves out, all the navy men were concentrated on one side of the street with their commanding officer pointing the blue and silver pistol at the opposing party on the opposite side.

It should be noted that the navy hadn't been stupid in using this formation instead of surrounding their targets: The opposite party had incapacitated the three mariners that had tried to do so just a moment ago, and the others had figured they might as well remain conscious through this ordeal.

Ace, until that point, hadn't known who he'd run into, all he knew was that the person had a gun and seemed to be on his side. He was also fast enough to dodge a rifle fired at him by a hasty naval man, and come in for a violent jab at man's knee joint with the butt of the rifle. The resounding crack, fall and shocked yelp a moment later as the naval man came to the realization that one of his bones was sticking out of his skin, made everyone stand stock still.

Of the three mariners that had tried their luck and been brutally denied, one was on the ground trying to avoid looking at his grievous wound from Kai's harsh jab, and the remaining two were unconscious from mistakenly thinking that Ace was harmless with his hands cuffed and his devil fruit powers suppressed. Ace was in a somewhat improvised defensive stance on one side of the street next to Kai who stood with the borrowed rifle at the ready pointed straight at the Admiral. Kaizer was likewise pointing his gun at who he assumed was the most dangerous at the moment (who, Ace was angry to say, was not him. But hey, why was he complaining?) and the Sailors were more or less just staring at the man with the gaping wound.

Looking over for the first time at his impromptu partner, Ace couldn't help but think that it was just his luck to be settled with _that_ guy. Ace vaguely wondered where he got the rifle.

"Was the broken limb poking out of his skin really necessary?" Ace growled out the side of his mouth. He was all for kicking ass when it needed kicking, but he tended to frown on excessiveness.

"Although not previously intended, I am quite satisfied with the results…" he said in a drawled out tone that suggested he was of the opinion that Ace was particularly dense. Ace thought his voice suited to his demeanor: cold, clipped and unlikable.

"What was your name again?" the pirate asked his new partner.

He seemed to be thinking of turning the rifle on Ace, but eventually, he growled: "Kaikaku…"

Overly long blue bangs parted to the right that looked like they'd get in his eyes, and the rest of his hair very spiky except for two longer strands in front of his ears, it would have been hard for Ace to _not_ remember him. He seemed to be slightly younger than Ace and at least an inch shorter, not to mention much paler. It was fortunate that he covered himself with so much clothing, because if his face was any indication the guy would fry on contact with the sun's rays.

His wardrobe of choice hadn't changed from earlier either: White gloves, grey slacks, white button up shirt that _itself_ seemed to be over a turtleneck grey sweater, and thrown over, very baggy captain's coat that was covered in silver and blue embroidery, buttons, clasps and other such displays of rank.

Come to think of it that coat very much resembled a naval officer's uniform…

"The prodigal son returns?" Kaizer smirked, speaking to Kaikaku of all people, with the blue and silver pistol pointed straight at his forehead.

Wait…what?

"Not exactly," Kai responded monotonously, "I have every intention of shooting a bullet through your skull as soon as the opportune moment presents itself…"

"Well, that's quite alright." The Vice-Admiral's grin spread, "In fact: that is exactly how I prefer it."

Okay, now Ace was confused…

"Wait, wait, and wait— Hold Up. This guy is related to you or something?" Ace pointed to Kaizer dumbfounded.

Ace wasn't a master of body-language, but the way Kaizer and Kaikaku were looking at him like he was stupid, annoying and stating the obvious, he assumed that yes, they were. They also seemed to be gesturing that he should shut up, but since when had ever responded to demands like that?

"Okay, so he's your…what? Evil Uncle or something? Maybe a cousin?" Ace wanted to know. It kind of made sense: _Kai_kaku/_Kai_zer; they both started with Kai-. Didn't family members do that or something? Most of the navy crew also seemed to be equally curious.

"As you'll be receiving capital punishment in a matter of weeks. I'll inform you that he's my pathetic excuse for an offspring, much as it pains me to admit it," Kaizer clarified, then turned to Kai, "You on the other hand, I think I'll kill now, and with your own pistol no less," the Admiral pulled back the hammer on the pistol, and then looked over Kai, "I see that you still have my Commodore's coat you stole from me the last time we had a run in. When was it, a year ago? Yes, that seems accurate. If your Carpenter friend hadn't stepped in, you would definitely be a skeleton in the belly of some—"

A shot went off, and Ace vaguely saw Kaizer jerk to the side (presumably to dodge a bullet), and then let loose a few shots from his (Kaikaku's?) pistol after the rifle-wielding pirate had run off, doing some seriously spectacular feats of acrobatics to climb up the side, and onto the roof, of a three-story house in less that five seconds. Kaizer however, was forced to take the less straightforward approach and set off with a growl down the long street at a dead sprint. With absolutely _no_ space between the houses to bypass the block, Kai had a definite lead.

"Get out of here you idiot!" He yelled to Ace before he disappeared behind a roof top.

Okay…

Well, that was one crisis abated, although in a rather round about fashion that ended up with the problem still existing just transferred to someone else's dilemma…

Oh well.

Ace turned back to the street and realized that although the Admiral had disappeared, his grunts hadn't moved at all, they were kind of staring around, wondering if what they'd seen was just real. They didn't even seem to notice that Ace was still there.

There were about twenty of them. The pirate grinned; it was nothing he couldn't handle.

"So…" The naval men looked at him in surprise at the realization he was still there, a number of them began violently twitching or shaking as they pointed their navy-issue rifles at his person.

"Which of you has the key to my cuffs?" He smirked.

One of the crewmen fainted.

**Review Responses!**

**Green.on.Black** I'm glad you like it! I hope you continue to read, review and enjoy!

**Cat-Fairy,** yeah…Ace _is_ hot…Well, I'm a afraid not much navy ass kicking in this chapter, but maybe the next one. Haven't figured it out yet…

**Shawna D.** Wahhh! Sorry it took so long to update! Well, he didn't fall asleep in this chapter, although I make no promises for the next one. Ace only rants on special occasions, and he grows out of it (in my Universe). Hope you read and review!


	4. 003 Nakama

**H A Z I N G**

**Series:** One Piece

**Main Characters:** The people you have to remember at this point are Ace, Saikoro, Tsutsu, Kaikaku, and Whitebeard. Five very distinct people…not too hard, right?

**Rating: **T as of yet, mostly for cussing and pillaging and violence…you know, pirate stuff.

**Genre:** Action/Adventure, but really a little bit of everything.

**Summery:** Ace is picked up by Whitebeard's crew, but it'll take even more than a Fire Fist to earn his place in the elite crew. That is if he survives the hazing.

**General Disclaimer**: I don't own One Piece or anything associated with One Piece. Anything here you recognize as from One Piece is therefore not mine, I'm not making money off it and I don't claim to have created it.

**_SPOILER WARNING FOR THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!_**

---

**H A Z I N G**

_By LGR_

_(**Beta-Reading** by **Raptor the Predator**: Thank you Raptor!)_

(Under-Crewman Saga: Vice-Admiral Kaizer Arc)

**--Log Entry Three--**

_Nakama_

---

Surprisingly, it only took Tsutsu about an hour to run about the town, visiting all her crewmate's favorite hangouts. Looking at the twenty people gathered in front of the Barrel Tavern, she realized she was still missing a few members, but they would show up eventually if they didn't want to be labeled deserters and executed. Most everyone knew to check in with the ship a few times each day they were at port for just that reason. So Tsutsu knew stragglers would find their way to the ship probably within a few hours or so; no problems there.

This was the main body of the crew, so they undoubtedly had enough people to storm a simple guard put on their boats. Tsutsu wasn't a strategist by any means, but it seemed to her that while they were at it, Kaizer's ship would be a nice addition to their fleet, though who was to Captain it was beyond her. They'd have to pull someone from another ship; they were short on crewmen with the needed bisection to provide ample labor for the once-naval galleon. And they'd certainly have to go on a recruiting drive or something…

But that was beside the point.

Tsutsu walked through the bar's wood-panel, swinging doors with no interference from Port Altra's infamous random-assailants. Upon examining the interior of the establishment, Tsutsu was dumbfounded to find, not Whitebeard drowning himself in rum, but a near empty bar with employees cleaning up broken furniture and pulling beaten naval men from the scene.

There was a lot of broken glass and splintered chairs, but no Captain. Not even a harassed-looking nurse.

Okay…

It didn't take a genius to figure out that: _A)_ The Navy had been here, and _B)_ Whitebeard had trashed them. She didn't need to ask the patrons and bartenders to tell her what had happened. Unfortunately, however, she being female and well-endowed, they did so anyways, which led to her having to introduce half the tavern to her stylishly efficient stiletto heels to impress upon those in the vicinity that no, she did _not_ like being groped.

How could she have forgotten why she always stayed behind with the ship when they came into this town…how the hell did her fellow nurses and colleagues stand it?

Upon exciting the Tavern, she was immediately interrogated by her fellow crewman.

_Why'd you come back out alone, Nurse Tsutsu?_ They wanted to know.

"The Captain isn't there," she told them. It really wasn't that big a deal, they'd just keep looking. Hell, he probably knew what was going on already. "We'll have to—"

_Whah! The Captain ain't there? Where the hell is he?_

"How should I know!" Tsutsu argued.

_What are we going to do? What if they left without us! _

Tsutsu nearly slapped herself in the face. Rolling her eyes, she explained, "They can't leave without us. How would they crew the ship with only a single man and seven nurses?" Sure the nurses could fight _and_ man the ship but she didn't need to mention that. Besides, when it came down to it, you just needed more people than that to do things properly, especially if one got attacked out at sea: the more hands the better.

_OH MY GOD THEY LEFT WITHOUT US?_

Apparently they hadn't heard a word she'd said. She didn't quite blame Kai for hating humanity at the moment. Sighing exasperatedly, she began, "They didn't lea—"

_THEY LEFT WITHOUT US! _

"No one is listening to me are they?" she mumbled half-heartedly as the various members of her crew were systematically freaking-out in new and more obnoxiously annoying ways as the moments passed by.

_We're gonna die! We're gonna be executed as deserters and then we're gonna dieeeee!!_ The crew cried in the middle of the street. It was so disturbing that no one even bothered to attack them. This time Tsutsu did smack herself (albeit lightly).

Damn, where was cold-hearted Kai to tell everyone they were dumb-asses when you needed him?

---

Kai barely dodged a pistol shot aimed at his head by jumping off the roof of the apartment complex he had been running across, down to an alleyway along the side of the large building. Running through the narrow passage as fast as he could, Kaikaku bought himself some time as Kaizer cursed at the realization that he couldn't fit through the opening that was no where near regulation width away from the adjacent business building. Dashing through the streets, nimbly evading civilians and would-be Port Altran attackers, Kai tried to put as much distance as he could between himself and his pursuer.

_Damn, I hadn't known he'd kept my pistol_, Kai reflected briefly, entertaining the thought that he could possibly steal it back before mentally punishing himself for the ridiculous notion. The only thing he would get if he tried to go back there was a brutal murder.

It had been a couple years since Kaikaku had been delusional enough to indulge in some fantasy of gloriously defeating his 'Father', (as far as Kai was concerned, there was no relation; he hated that bastard). As a realist and a pessimist, he didn't see any kind of situation where he would have an advantage against the man who he respected only as a skilled fighter, (and that _only_ because the Admiral would happily kill Kai with said skills whether the pirate respected them or not). Even the sniping idea had been a long shot (bad pun): Kaizer had the eyes of a hawk.

The only thing Kai had over him was agility, and they were about equal in speed and reaction time when it came to guns, but when Kaizer pulled out the rapiers…the Admiral was in a whole other league. And as soon as Kai turned the fight to close combat, the admiral _would_ use his sword. All the pirate could do right now was run (_very_ fast and _very_ far) away and hopefully lose the Officer.

And surprisingly enough, as the blue-haired pirate slid around a corner, hopped a fence, ran down a street and out the back of an abandoned building, it seemed as if he had managed to do so.

How…surprisingly lucky.

Leaning against the blind side of a dilapidated building as he kept a look out for his pursuer, Kai narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Something was obviously wrong, he was never this lucky. In fact, he was notoriously unlucky. Someone else's bad-day was his every-day. This had to be some kind of trap.

With that in mind, Kai scanned the crowded street, automatically taking in and examining the actions of those nearby. Faintly, he heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind him, Kai tensed but then relaxed when a familiarly irritating voice said "Yo," casually as its owner approached. Even with all the noise coming from the street and the level of attention he was paying it, Ace had been very quiet, almost frightening him for a moment there.

He _hated_ being frightened

"You idiot," he snapped frigidly, as he rotated to face the smirking, orange-hatted pirate who came up to stand before him, arms crossed behind his head casually. Kai narrowed his eyes, "I told you to escape; I haven't the time to baby-sit you at the moment…"

Maybe Ace didn't deserve such a cold greeting, but since when had Kai cared?

Oh wait, he _hadn't!_

Ha.

The older adolescence snuffed, taking his arms from behind his neck and crossing them in front of him. The movement seemed very awkward until Kai realized that he still had the seastone cuffs hindering his actions.

"I hardly need baby-sitting if you hadn't noticed," Ace replied with an eye-brow raised looking slightly perturbed. That was fine with Kai, he didn't give a wit if Ace was angry or not, he could be infuriated as long as he didn't cause trouble and just did as he was fucking _told!_

And yes, Kai was rather angry.

"It's quite fortunate that you informed me, as I certainly _hadn't_ noticed…" he told the man, who just continued to smirk irritatingly. The expression only grew when Kai delivered a _Glare of Instant Annihilation_ that was supposed to cause a fatality.

Sadly (in Kai's opinion), Ace didn't suddenly develop a choking fit. Nor did he suddenly sprout icicles from the glacial look he'd received…the fucker didn't even look like he'd noticed…

Whatever, Kai didn't have time for this. Just because that bastard of an Admiral had lost his trail, didn't mean he wouldn't pick it up again. And who knew what kind of trouble the crew was getting into without himself or Saikoro to make them behave properly. He needed to catch up with the Captain and find out how he wanted to proceed.

Wordlessly, Kai set out across the street, and aimed himself towards the Barrel Tavern. He was slightly disappointed when Ace followed.

"It's hardly my fault the bastard took hostages," Ace defended, his smirk turning sour. He was clearly pissed off at the Admiral's action. The whole thing was completely underhanded and the pyro-pirate was none too happy that he'd fallen into the trap.

Kai simply snuffed, not commenting any further. He would have tried to jump Kaizer before the guy even _thought_ of doing something as extravagant as taking hostages. Not that it would have helped much in the actual defeating of said person…

"As if you could do any better…" Ace accused, but his companion didn't respond. Kai's expression was the image of ambiguous haughtiness.

The shit of it was he probably _couldn't_ have done any better…

---

Saikoro was just biding his time.

He'd quit smoking about fifteen years ago, not because he'd necessarily wanted to, but because Whitebeard's health had begun deteriorating and the nurses he'd hired to attend him had suggested (ordered) that he stay away from second-hand smoke and stop smoking himself.

The Captain hadn't asked his Carpenter or anyone else on his immediate crew to halt their smoking activities. In fact, the Captain tended to ignore anything the nurses had to say regarding his health (which seemed rather counterintuitive, but that was just Edward's way.) Even so, Saikoro had done so anyways. To this day his hand still twitched to hold a cigarette and bring it towards his mouth. He found that with his mouth occupied, he didn't think about it as much, and had been sucking on toothpicks ever since.

The absence of his wooden-sliver (taken of course by the two Navy thugs keeping watch on either side of him) annoyed the man to no end, but that wasn't what was really on his mind at the moment.

Tsutsu's guards had limped back to the two ships commandeered by the Navy quite some time ago without her. Usually a situation like this wasn't that big of a deal. It certainly wasn't often that anyone dared to go after Whitebeard; famed Strongest Man in the World and former rival of Gol D. Roger, but it had happened once or twice that someone got it into their head they could get away with something like that. They quickly realized their mistake and paid for it, but this time was a little different. This wasn't another pirate crew with minimal men, experience and resources and an excess of audacity and stupidity. This was a high-ranking Admiral of the Navy, and for all the Navy's faults, a Vice-Admiral in their sea-fairing military was no push over and could even provide Whitebeard a decent fight.

The nurse was a good fighter, and she could think straight under pressure, but if she met up with the Admiral somewhere out there in that town, Tsutsu would be a goner. No one in their current line-up could take Vice-Admiral Kaizer on their own—Ace's prowess or lack thereof on the battlefield was yet to be proven. They'd had a run in with the man a couple times in the past.

The last time, Whitebeard's flagship had been sailing with a companion ship from his fleet whose captain had been killed in action. Their total crew with both ships numbered about forty-five. Saikoro had been watching over the second ship while it sailed with the Flagship until the man sent for to replace the fallen leader had arrived.

This was of course when a fleet of seven navy Galleons led by at-that-time-Commodore Kaizer attacked from behind a fogbank. Everything was so obscured one couldn't see the water keeping the boat afloat from the deck, making the battle more than difficult. Escape had been nearly impossible under the circumstances. The flagship had gotten away, even managing to destroy five of the seven enemy vessels with their canons and by means of boarding the other Galleons and setting them aflame. However, the second ship wasn't so lucky. It was surrounded and boarded; only three people off that Boat survived, including himself. One was assimilated into another crew, but one stayed on.

Oh, and damn…he almost forgot about Kai.

He was probably the person who was in the most danger right now. The kid had lived in boats his entire life and knew more about ships and sailing them in bad weather than a man three times his age. He could tell that a storm was on its way even when the sun burned bright and clear overhead, and he'd be _right_. Because of this, people tended to listen to him when he chose to say something, although sometimes getting the attention required a gun to the would-be listeners head. No one had known the pistol-wielding blue-haired Boatswain had any relation to the Commodore attacking them, but that was soon revealed when the Commodore personally boarded the second ship with the self-proclaimed mission of killing the boy.

It was the thickest fog anyone had ever seen. Both the ocean and the wind were strangely still, only the faint lapping of water on the boat could be heard as they knew at least one ship was on their tail. In the dead quiet, even the smallest sounds could give away your position to the enemy. A slightly darker patch of mist suddenly loomed beside them and everyone knew they were screwed. The ship had no artillery to speak of; all their canons had been damaged in the same battle that had taken away their captain and a number of other crewman.

A grapple thudded onto the deck, and a sailor raced to cut the rope. They did the same to another grapple, and watched quizzically as quite a few fell short and hit the hull. For some reason, they didn't seem to be firing on them, and Saikoro knew now that it was because Kaizer had wanted to be sure a certain someone died by his hands.

The creek of someone swinging towards the ship on a rope was faintly heard, and before anyone knew what was going on, a flash of silver and the distinct sound of a rapier drawn and then swung, echoed in the near silence of the misty dusk. A moment passed before the blood flowed, but those still living suddenly became aware that half the crew had been gutted as their wounds suddenly exploded open in a spray of red.

Everyone was surprised and probably frightened, but they were seasoned pirates, and they'd drawn blood and seen it drawn enough that they managed to keep their heads. Upon noticing the Naval Officer with his back towards them, standing on the upper deck of the ship in front of the helm, the crewmen were immediately on their guards, ready to receive an attack, but not exactly leaping at the chance to face the officer. (Not that he'd blamed them.)

At the time, it had been quite unexpected that the one to purposefully point his pistol straight at the man's back and fire was the young boatswain, although now Saikoro knew it was the only way the event could have played out. Kaikaku and Kaizer absolutely hated each other to a degree that even most pirates couldn't understand. Kai had remarked once that not even killing the Naval Officer could ever be enough. Enough for what, he'd never been able to get out of the kid.

Secretive Bastard.

Over the years working on Whitebeard's ship, Saikoro had seen a lot of fighters in action, (he'd even killed a couple of them), two of the people who he remembered the best, were the Greatest Swordsman in the World and Warlord of the Sea, Dracule Mihawk and his former-rival Red-haired Shanks. Pirates didn't often congregate or socialize with one another—actually they tended to be fighting one another when they met up at all—but on one occasion he'd been witness to a practice match between Mihawk, and the one armed Shanks. Even with only his left arm, Red Shanks was incredible, and Mihawk easily matched him.

This man had incredible skills on par with that match he'd witnessed between Mihawk and Red Shanks, although Mihawk had been barely trying and Shanks was one-handed and not using his dominant limb, and Kaizer was obviously trying his very best to slice his son to shreds.

It had been impressive to see someone reflect a bullet with the blade of their sword, seemingly disappear and suddenly reappear somewhere else. It had also been cool to see someone manage to dodge seven successive swings of a sword lashing out at blinding speeds, duck, and then do a move that could only be described as a cart-wheel-kick, and then run straight up the ship's mast. _Not_ using the ladder. _Or _any hands, just vertically dashing up the mast in the blink of an eye.

Meanwhile, the rest of the crew had been either trying to intervene or slicing/being-sliced down by the navy swinging onto the lower deck by means of ropes and more grapples. About five of the men tried to get the jump on Kaizer, but were immediately cut down by an almost elegant series of slashes.

There were less than ten pirates left on the ship, and the navy outnumbered them by far, but no one was giving up at this point. Kai was aiming at Kaizer from the crow's nest. The Officer merely deflected the bullets, but he couldn't attack. More and more men on both sides were killed, but neither Kaizer nor Kai seemed to be paying attention to anyone else—that was until, Kaizer got pissed and killed off one of his own, took the fallen naval man's rifle and fired it on the blue-haired kid up in the air.

The shot had gone wild, however, as a canon ball splintered through the ship's mast. Flying slivers of wood flew through the air like daggers and the solid oak pole smashed onto the lower deck, snapping ropes and rigging. The Flagship had erupted from the fog, to Saikoro's utter relief, and as another canon ball shattered the railings and skidded across the deck taking out a number of navy militia, he grabbed the only other person left alive and bodily tossed him at the ship. He'd been put temporarily in charge by Whitebeard with the mission to take care of the crew, and his word dictated that he try to save anyone still alive.

Kai and Kaizer were still going at it, however Kaizer had ditched the rifle and redrawn his rapier, and Kai seemed to be missing his pistol and had only a knife in his left hand. Another canon ball slammed low through the deck and the ship quickly began to take on water. The planks shook so much from the blow that everyone fell to the floor. In all the ruckus, Saikoro had scrambled over the debris and aimed his axe haft at the Officer's neck. At any other time, it might have been cool to see someone dodge an axe swing, but when all Saikoro caught was the edge of the man's sleeve, the only thing that had kept him alive was a kick to the officer's face by Kai that separated the man from his coat.

Thanking whatever god that had put this into play so they could get the hell out of there, Saikoro grabbed Kai (who was at the time was failing to pry the axe from the piece of the mast it had been imbedded in—probably to use it as a weapon against Kaizer), and tossed him at the ship. It wasn't until later that he realized, by ripping the kid away from the Axe, the coat had ripped along with him.

Saikoro had been thinking that even with that bit of good fortune, they were utterly screwed. The ship was too far away, they were going to fall into the ocean and be left behind or drowned. Or float aimless on a piece of debris until they starved to death, or got picked up by the navy and executed.

Luckily his predictions were wrong; he hadn't factored in the fact that Kai seemed to have some sort of affinity with vertical surfaces, or the fact that the spry Boatswain was much lighter than your average crewman. So when he blindly threw him at the boat, he caught onto some decorative railing, and even managed to grab onto Saikoro when he risked it all and jumped. The crew cheered and sailed away as their other boat sank. It might have been sadder if he'd actually known anyone on that crew. He hadn't, so he hadn't much cared. Frankly, he was more disappointed that they'd had to fire on their own ship and commit her to a watery grave. It really had been a pretty nice boat.

Saikoro still remembered when they'd been pulled back on deck. That was probably the only time someone had tried to kill him for saving their life. Kai was backwards like that. The really scary thing was that he'd actually apologized later. The only other time Saikoro had ever heard him apologize had been to Waku, and the conversation had gone something like this:

_Waku: "I'm sorry I'm such a screw-up."_

_Kai: "And I'm sorry you're such an incompetent moron."_

Very heartfelt. You could tell he was really hurting inside.

_Not_.

A few members of the crew were genuinely afraid of him, which was really funny because most of those people were a foot taller than him and weighed double what he did not to mention were about twice his age or older.

Eh, but he could run, and they were in a town, not a ship. Over the last couple years they'd pummeled a bit of sense into him and he knew he couldn't beat the Admiral alone. He'd know to make a break for it…hopefully.

And Ace? Portgas _D_. Ace. He was a descendant of Gol _D_. Roger, the carpenter-pirate was positive. No doubt Whitebeard had brought him along for precisely that reason. A lot of potential in that blood and the guy had easily fit into the crew once it had been decided. He'd managed to elude Kaizer out at sea, and then steal one of his ships. He'd be fine too, right?

Saikoro sighed, and one of his guards clapped him hard on the back with his rifle butt.

After exchanging glares with the hard-faced naval man, he went back to staring into space and pondering the meaning of the Universe. Or, you know, whatever…

…Damn, when the hell was the Captain going to get there?

---

Getting the crew under control had seemed an impossible task, at first. But it was amazing what a single phrase would do. What exactly that phrase was, she didn't want to disclose, but it had worked. Arriving at the dock, she'd let someone else take over the planning. Everyone was assigned a place, and as soon as a signal was given, they would all attack.

Crouching behind a building corner, she and two other pirates waited impatiently for the crewmember to signal that they could reveal themselves. Although her specialty was medicine, she was pretty sure that this elaborate scheme to get the jump on only _four guys_ was a little overboard considering they vastly outnumbered them.

And let's be honest, they were the _NAVY_.

Why had she let Waku make the plan again? She didn't really know.

This being the case, she wasn't disappointed when the plan was blown to smithereens by Captain Whitebeard stepping foot on the dock wearing a grin that showed way too many teeth, closely followed by six nurses.

The two Naval men standing in front of the two ships held their Rifles at their sides. As the giant man approached, one of the men stared for a moment, noting both the man's stature and the fact that he was being attended by a harem of young women. Clueing in, he immediately began to shake nervously as he aimed a wavering rifle at the Pirate. The other man seemed to be totally oblivious to these facts, and aimed his rifle at Captain Whitebeard.

"Halt! This is a secure area! Please vacate the premises immediately per order of the World Government!" the stupid rifleman called. When Whitebeard continued to approach, only grinning wider, the naval man looked frustrated and repeated himself.

When Whitebeard was only a yard away, the second naval man threw his rifle down and ran. The other guy was confused by his partner's actions but seemed to figure it out when the giant man seized the rifle from his hands, and snapped it over his knee. The sailor stared at it for a moment until a Nurse pulled out a collapsible staff, and smacked him into unconsciousness.

Whitebeard smirked, "So this is the strength of the Navy? Aye, what a joke! And here I'd been all worked up, thinking you'd all be a problem…"

---

Ace wasn't quite sure what his opinion of this person he was following was.

The exchange just now was the closest thing they'd had to a conversation since they'd met, (If you could call it meeting; it was more like Kai insulted him and Ace got angry and joined the crew out of spite,) and the kid didn't seem to be warming up to him, even after helping him escape from Kaizer. The way things had been going, Ace might have been able escape on his own, but Kai's actions had still been nobler than Ace had learned to expect from people. It was something to think about.

"Where are we going?" Ace wanted to know after three minutes of meandering through the streets.

To avoid an arctic glower like the one he'd received earlier (yes, he had felt that, he had nearly been frostbitten, thank you very much), he tried to pitch his question as earnestly as possible. Kai seemed to know what he was doing, but that didn't mean Ace trusted him not to lead them into some kind of trouble.

The pair had been attacked already in that short period of time, and Ace quickly learned that Kai wasn't the type to suffer fools lightly: the assailant would have at least gotten away with most of his teeth and bones intact if he'd went after Ace instead.

After scrutinizing his style, Ace could tell that Kai wasn't nearly as strong as himself physically, but he knew where his hits would cause the most damage and took full advantage that. He also didn't like to admit it, but the blue-haired pirate was possibly faster than him (just by a little bit…) and maybe his little brother Luffy could slingshot himself onto a roof faster, but Ace could not scale a building that quickly no matter the circumstances.

Sigh…the blue-haired guy really should have answered the question by now if he were going to…

"_Could. You. Tell. Me. Where. We. Are. Go-ing?_" Ace enunciated.

Still no answer. There was no way that he hadn't heard Ace's Question, he was deliberately choosing not to respond.

"_Pleeeasies_?" Ace begged, lower-lip thrust out as he used his brother's: _Don't-break-my-poor-lil'-heart _technique. The reaction was even better than he expected.

Stop walking.

Turn to face Ace.

Silent stare.

Blink…Blink…

Respond: "That was horrible. Don't. Do. That. Again."

The orange-loving pirate chuckled, "You still haven't told me where we are going…" he trailed off as Kai interrupted, grudgingly saying: "To regroup."

They still hadn't begun walking again, and Ace smiled jovially as he asked, "Where at?"

"The Barrel Tavern," Kai answered his eyes narrowed and his voice audibly grating.

"Now, was that so hard?" Ace teased as he flashed a bright smile

"Hn…" _Glare of Eternal Darkness_.

Ace laughed and they went back to ambling down the street—or Ace ambled, Kai was a couple inches shorter than him, but still managed to stalk (hunch-walk? menacingly-stoop-and-glare-trot?) quickly enough that Ace had to step up his pace, now walking at his fellow pirate's side as opposed to behind him.

The dark-haired pirate thought it was probably his way of sulking. Ha.

Silence.

Smiling pleasantly, Ace cheerily asked "So what happened to your Rifle?" interrupting the quiet between them after noticing the weapon's absence.

Kai gave him a weird look out of the corner of his eye and shrugged and muttered something almost inaudible. Maybe he thought he'd talked too much today or something? What Ace could make out indicated that the blue-haired pirate had lost the weapon, and although Ace had no doubt that the statement was entirely correct, he was also equally certain it left out a great deal.

"Lost it? Damn, how did that happen?" Ace chuckled, "Luckily Kaizer isn't around right now or we'd be screwed!"

"Hn…"

"What is 'hn'? Is it like an agreement, or…?"

"Hn…"

"…That was really childish, you know?"

"I'm sorry, but is there a _reason_ you keep talking? _Shut up._"

"Just trying to be friendly—"

"Now is _not_ the time to '_be friendly'_."

"Now is the _perfect_ time to be friendly," Ace contradicted with a toothy grin, "In case you hadn't noticed I can't use my powers right now and there's a Vice-Admiral of the World Government breathing down my neck; I need all the friends I can get!"

"You are looking in the wrong place. And in case you hadn't noticed, the person you're talking about has been after _me_ far longer than he's been after _you_."

"See? All the more reason to be friends. Not to mention that if you're still alive then he can't be all _that_ unbeatable."

"_What_ is _wrong_ with your _brain…_"

Things were silent for a moment, then Ace said, "Me and my little brother Luffy (I have a little brother named Luffy by the way)…we were orphans…"

"I don't—"

"Care? Well, I don't care that you don't care. Just shut up and listen for a minute."

"…"

"Well, our Mother died when we were very young and we don't know who our Father is so we lived with our Grandfather. He was a Vice-Admiral too, you know, Monkey D. Garp!" Ace announced proudly.

"Moneky D. Garp? The Vice-Admiral who nearly caught Gol D. Roger?"

"Yeah, that's the one. Anyways, for most of our younger years, we were on our own. Grandfather went out to sea a lot and we had to take care of ourselves. I dunno why you hate your Dad," (_"Refer to him as that again and I'll kill you…"_), "But Grandpa-Garp wasn't a bad guy, he was just busy.

"Anyways, He wanted us to be strong, so when he was home he would put us into all kinds of perilous situations, throwing us off of cliffs, dropping us off into unknown territory, making us fight against rabid animals..."

"He sounds insane…"

"Probably, but the point is that when I was a kid, I didn't have many friends. And I had to learn to pick myself up without anyone around, and I've found that that just plain sucks, okay? Independence and strength is good and all, but having someone at your back incase a rabid wolf jumps you out of nowhere is almost as important.

Ace smiled at him, "So you see, having and making friends is important. I'm sure you've had people bail you out before, what with being part of a crew and all, I'm sure you've depended on someone or been depended on yourself. So do I make more sense to you now?"

"Not particularly…"

"With a sour look like that I bet you never had any friends."

Kai's eyes narrowed in a way that was absolutely menacing, "That's none of your _god damn business_," he growled and for a moment Ace actual feared for his life.

Ace easily rebounded, however. "Hit a sore spot, huh?" he goaded and almost regretted it when Kai aimed a punch straight for his face. Key word there being 'almost'. Although it was close, Ace managed to dodge the blow. He was only a little frustrated when the kick he aimed at his companion-turned-opponent's ankle that was _supposed_ to knock him to the ground, didn't even connect because the pirate had already used his momentum to cartwheel out of the way. Those walking by didn't bother to stop and look; they were too used to fights to really care about one as tame as this.

The two faced each other unmoving.

"What…do you fucking _want_ from me…" the blue-haired pirate demanded to know.

"I want to know why you're such a dick," Ace answered seriously, "And if that has anything to do with Kaizer."

"What do _you_ care about it?" he glowered even more intensely.

"Lots of reasons," the pyro-pirate responded, "Mostly because I'm tired of your shitty attitude and if killing this guy is going to fix it we might as well do it right now. And besides, in case you didn't notice we're in the same crew now, we're _nakama_." He pointed a thumb behind them to indicate that he had every intention of just running back for the sake of a friendship that Kai knew didn't exist.

Kaikaku gave Ace a confused look.

"What?" Ace wondered.

He shook his head exasperatingly, "You are such a moron…" he sighed.

Ace frowned, but didn't say anything. It just wasn't worth it anymore. Man, Saikoro was right when he said Kai didn't talk unless he was insulting you. He forgot to mention the Icy-glares of death, though…

They went on their way again, neither speaking to the other, but for some reason the atmosphere was significantly less hostile. Ace didn't really understand why.

Kai suddenly stopped in front of a tavern and it took a second for him to realize why: they'd reached their destination (this kid really needed to talk more…). A beat-up sign hung above the door revealing its name to be _The Barrel_. Every window in the establishment was broken and inside, people were trying to clean up splinters of wood and broken glass with brooms and dustpans around the men lying on the ground.

"Where's the crew?" Ace wondered confusedly. Didn't Kai say they were supposed to be here? Ace didn't recognize any of the people around…Oh wow, those guys lying on the ground were Navy sailors. What hap…happened…here…

Kai was moving again, and Ace blinked his eyes and tried to follow him, "Hey, wha…what's go…go…going on…go where…going…go…"

…

…

"Owe! Fuck!" Ace snapped up, grabbing his shoulder. He was on the ground and he didn't remember how he'd gotten there. Putting two and two together, he realized he must have fallen asleep again. That was strange, it didn't usually happen while standing up. That was odd.

And _gahh_, and his arm _throbbed_ what the _heck_?

"What the hell!" Blinking and examining his shoulder, he turned accusatorily to a rather blurry Kai standing over him, "Did you just…_bite_ me?" he asked astonished.

The blue haired teen raised his eyebrow, giving the impression that he thought Ace was off his rocker.

Trying to hold onto his left shoulder with his right hand which was shackled to his left was difficult, but he managed it, "Dude, you frickin' bit my arm," Ace said after examining his shoulder, "I can see the teeth marks…"

Kai shook his head wearily, "What the hell are you babbling about…"

"Whatever…how long was I ou-out…how long…long was…I…wa-I…ou…"

…

"Gah! Stop shaking me!" Ace yelled.

Kai did, and was now looking down at Ace, his head tilted quizzically, "You really _are_ a narcoleptic. It's quite bizarre to witness…"

Ace huffed, "What, you thought I was lying? Dude, I fell asleep while we were on the ship!" He tried to sit up and failed, sinking back down to the ground. He felt so weak. That didn't usually happen…

"Tch, when?" Kai snuffed cynically.

"When everyone was telling me why the ships in Whitebeard's fleet were away from the flagship; I don't remember a wit of it."

"Why aren't you getting up?"

"_DON'T JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT_!" Ace exploded.

"_Stop drawing attention to yourself!_" Kai hissed back, his eyes shifting suspiciously at the people who were now looking at them, "Why aren't you getting up, come _on. _When the Vice-Admiral gets here every one of these people will be able to describe us."

Ace growled before answering the question. "I dunno, I'm just really tired right now, help me up."

His companion grumbled but did as requested of him, grabbing Ace under the shoulder, trying to hall him up, just to fall back down.

"_Uuh_, you're heavy. Stop going limp…" Kai complained.

The pirate blinked drowsily, "I'm sorry, I just…" Ace yawned.

Kai suddenly narrowed his eyes at Ace's wrists, "…the cuffs," he murmured.

Ace blinked, "Huh?"

"It must be the seastone," he revealed, "It's something of a miracle you've been able to run around almost normally with those touching you. They can drain physical strength and energy, not simply devil fruit powers. We need to get them off of you or we're fucked…"

"So, my _nakama_ speech got to you after all?" Ace smirked from his spot on the ground, fighting to keep his drowsy eyes from closing.

"Not really," Kai responded, "It's just Whitebeard's policy. And I put so much effort into getting you free, I'd hate for it to be all for nothing…"

Ace rolled his eyes, "Heh, I was free long before _you_ came by."

The blue-haired pirate gave him a sarcastic, half-lidded expression, "If by 'free' you mean fleeing for your life with Kaizer two feet behind you, than alright you were 'free'."

Oh, this was war.

"Fine. But you say we're free _now_, but aren't we still being pursued?"

Oh yeah, Ace had him now…

"That's an assumption," Kai snuffed turning his head in indignation, "You can't prove anything."

Oh, _come_ _on_!

"But aren't we acting on that assumption?" Ace prodded.

"Doesn't change the fact that it's an assumption."

…

"…you're a jerk."

"I know."

"Whatever, just get these off of me. Cut them or something." Ace demanded, shoving the chains in his companion's face.

Kai snuffed, "Seastone is only able to be cut using itself…"

"I don't _care _how you do it, just get it off!"

"Hn…" Kai tilted his head quizzically, "I suppose we could amputate your hands…"

Ace's eyes grew large and fearful, "…_please_ tell me you're joking."

Gold eyes glimmered ominously, "Oh, I _never_ joke."

He extricated what looked to be a switchblade, with an absolutely sadistic grin spreading across his face. If Kai ever decided he wanted to be a bad guy, he had all the requirements down. Evil father, evil glare, evil menacing grin…

Twitch. Twitch. Whimper.

Queue shine off metal lock picks springing out from the handle.

"—however, I figured that you would feel that way so I think in this case we will simply pick the lock..." He finished his expression and voice now completely neutral.

"_DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!"_

Kia shrugged and proceeded to pick the lock on Ace's manacles.


End file.
